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It has sure been a while since I have written anything in here.  To say the least,  my life has been relatively dull throughout the summer.  However,  that all changed when God completely turned my world around in a heartbeat.  And Now,  I will be leaving for the ROK in 3 days.

Was I scared and completely caught off guard when I initially heard the news?  you bet.  But then, I remembered how small my own plans in comparison to His plans.  While I will be planning to teach english,  have a fun time,  immerse myself in a completely new culture,  I know that God has additional plans that will hold heavy implications to how my life will go forward.

So I suppose that I better not mess this one up and really make the most of it. hahah. =P

When all things are considered,  God will move.

So that said,  I’m out.  Later.

God has literally flung open the door of opportunity into Korea.  Now the time has come for me to walk through it.

What am I really made of?

I suppose coming back from AMI,  I had some interesting thoughts running through my head.

In the midst of making the boldest move of my life (assuming it actually works out), I must wonder what I am really made of. 

I guess this leaves me with two directions.  I could….

1. I could fight for every bit of comfort and happiness in my new life, in my new world

or

2. give up my dreams of living in luxury in search for that greater cause… even in a foreign world.

House Visits

“es gibt nichts zu tun in Allentown” sagt mein freund

So my friend says there is absolutely nothing to do in bethlehem.  Yet,  I will take my chances and go visit him tomorrow. 

I believe that going the extra step goes a long long way…. such as taking the extra step to go visit someone in their home.  To show the love that Jesus had to offer,  I believe that Jesus did the same.  This is seen in the story of Lazarus, and various others.   But my point being… Christ was a God of action…  if he wanted to show the love,  he did it,  not hypothetically thought about doing something.

Perhaps I can learn a thing or two from taking my time to visit lowly bethlehem… to an old friend that I am just beginning to reacquaint myself with. 

New Post

You know… Sometimes,  I really wonder why I bother.  I mean… I really REALLY wonder why I bother trying to do good, like let’s say… love others like Christ did.  Granted,  the world is in need of PLENTY of love…  yet each time I seem to try to do my part in that…  it gets thrown back at me in some way…. people don’t care back… or people don’t appreciate the heart and effort I try to put in it… and all that stuff.  Why should I freaking bother.  really.  If misery loves company… then in many ways,  welcome to humanity.  I don’t need any of this…

But then I must remember one thing.  In the Eyes of a God that has created the art of practicality.  I am really no prize myself.  Practically speaking,  I imagine myself to be someone frustrating to love.  Yet,  God has sent his Son… a part of Himself that completes the triune God ,  down to this earth to die,  so that I may experience this love myself.  The love I experience makes me sensitive to the fact that this world lacks so much in love.  With such a lacking comes such a great need.    So once again,  I return to the forever constant truth in my life.  That is,  I have a purpose…. to love others as Christ first loved me…. This love,  that was manifested through siblings in faith,  was what saved my life four years ago.

When I consider all that I have just said,  loving people is a no-brainer. 

gemeinshaft

You know… i can’t help to think how wonderful and pure things in the newest stages are until our own human desires,  our selfishness, our sins, our own hunger to satisfy,  all combine to ruin what was made so good.

I came into Temple ministry apart of a family.  Albeit a very dysfunctional one,  but nonetheless,  a family.  We laughed,  celebrated,  disagreed, dissapointed,  the whole works.  But ultimately,  we did those things together without question.  We spent time together, all of us.  In the exception of extreme cases,  someone feeling alienated from the family simply did not exist. 

Three years forward,  each time I hear the word clique,  or the word crew, or hear of one’s feeling of being left out of the community.  It breaks my heart.  Each time I hear the leadership people be associated as some sort of leadership click,  it makes me sick to my stomach.  I cannot help but to take responsibility… at least in part.  What really tops it off is the fact that we either choose to be comfortable,  or choose to stay silent.  If one cannot see the divide here at Temple Gcc ministry,  take a deeper look.

What has corrupted our own hearts so much that we are all so inclined to satisfy ourselves and not think for a moments time that there are people here that feel alienated… that there are people that especially need the community to step in,  to intervene,  even if it means going that extra mile. 

In my opinion, Temple ministry is good,  but not great.  We have managed to forget the first fruits of what true biblical community and family was… that is… the love of Christ being experienced by everyone.  Hanging out does not constitute true fellowship if Christ does not center it.  Clearly, if this ministry has about 30 people in it,  and only the same 6-10 or so people hang out together, there is a problem

In my opinion,  this ministry does not need the blessing of cars,  it does not need more concealed fellowship.  Instead,  it needs some true Godly love and grace,  brought forth by Christ,  to revive what is breaking.

 

Glory to God that I have the opportunity to live one more day to do what I was created to do…. then fail at it miserably… and be redeemed for all over again… so that I may wake up the next day and do what I was created to do.

Glory to God

a new chapter

A chapter in my life has officially closed tonight.  It was my final Temple GCC event for a very long time.

As I engaged in the final moments of my time here at Temple ministry,  I had a strange,  but good thought in my mind.  My hope for this ministry,  and the people, is that any seeds that God has planted in this ministry through me will not be remembered by Temple ministry.  Not an action,  an installment of personality,  not even a joke.  Perhaps I have grown in faith enough to realize that all the glory here belongs to God.

I had the glorious privilege of being with this ministry in its birth and infancy.  Now I leave it with all the potential in the world to grow.  But the emphasis here is that I am leaving it so that the ministry has an opportunity to grow.  I come off as if I am that important.  Of course,  I am not.  However, I do believe that each and every member of a ministry play a crucial role in the make up of the personality of the ministry itself.  Like me losing TU in my life,  TU losing me will be a loss.  However,  there is so much more to be gained.  Praise the Lord.

well,  that’s all she wrote.  Hellloooo Young Adulthood

slump

Baseball player Ryan Howard from the phillies, a perennial 40+ homerun, 120+ RBI guy is currently slumping pretty bad.  The guy who makes 10 million dollars a year clearly knows how to hit a baseball.  Yet, no matter how desperately he just wants to be able to hit the ball without striking out,  things are just not working out.  He is clearly frustrated.

That is pretty analagous to where my own spiritual life is at right now.  No matter how badly I want to be spiritually on fire,  nothing is clicking at the moment.  Desite the Holy Bible literally being the Book of Life, it is as unintelligible to me right now as the Hebrew Language is.  Praying is merely a magnification of my own problems, my own fears,  small or large… nothing else.  Clearly,  that is not what prayer is,  and I know that.  Yet,  things just are not working.  It’s frustrating.

But I will say this though.

According to reports,  Ryan Howard has been working on the swing,  watching video footage of sucessful swings as well as mechanical errors.  Slowly but surely,  he has been making contact with the ball.  He has said all it will take is a multi-hit game or some sort for him to catch fire.  Well,  tonight,  he went 2 for 4

Perhaps its time for me to watch some video footage (reflect), fix my mechanical errors (repent), and work on my own swing (pray and read).

Dunno what else to say at this point,  I guess it’s something I have to do,  not say.

Mein Unabhaengigkeit

You know… Yesterday, I have never felt so spiritually attacked in a very long time.  It is almost inconceivable how difficult it was this time.  I caved in and was hit pretty hard.  Even as I sit here and think,  I can’t even think how weak I truly am in this walk.  Yet,  once again,  I was redeemed for.

When I put this all in perspective,  I am encouraged knowing that I must be doing something right in my spiritual walk to be attacked so viciously.  Satan really must not like the direction I was headed.

Funny this all comes on the eve of my summer vacation.  Although I will not explain things here…  it seems to only make perfect sense.

I will say this though…  I no longer want to waste a moment by lingering in mediocrity.  If this summer was meant to bring me out of my hole and to the presence of God, completely,  than so be it.

It’ll be quite a battle… I am kind of excited…  but mostly, dare I say… I want to change.